In talking to this friend I felt relief.
Our days of the wide unknown are behind us for now.
In trying to adopt there is constantly a vast unknown before you. You could be chosen tomorrow and be parents, you could be chosen years down the road, you may never be chosen at all. You could be chosen by someone who knows you personally or by someone who saw your profile online. Someone may initially want to choose you but later choose to parent or choose someone else. You might be chosen by someone at the beginning of their pregnancy, the end, or someone who has already had their child. You might have to travel across the country or just miles away. It may all happen tomorrow it may never happen at all. In trying to adopt there is all of that constantly in front of you, completely beyond your control and unpredictable.
Right now life feels so comfortably and peacefully predictable.
We aren't trying to adopt. We're open to it but we aren't seeking out or expecting to adopt. We aren't using an agency and we don't have our profile published anywhere.
We aren't trying in any way to get pregnant which means we don't have the roller coaster of hoping, waiting, wondering, failure, frustration and heartache.
Even with as unpredictable as foster parenting can be there is still far more about it that we can be sure of...
- DCFS in our region puts families on hold for 6 months after an adoption while the family acclimates to being permanent. We know that for these 6 months we won't be called to take in any children. For this 6 month period we know it will be just the 4 of us in our home.
- Our license only approves us taking in one child and only between the age of newborn and 2 years old (because of space requirements). We know that when our 6 months is over we will very likely have one child placed with us and that child will be under the age of three.
Right now it feels so good to soak in the comfortable predictability of the day-to-day. It's lovely. All is calm, all is bright, and I'm loving the sweetness of the peace. :)