21 July 2013

To Explain Our Absence...

We've had some people wonder why we've been a bit absent from our blog recently and we feel we're ready to explain. We were chosen by a birth mom early this year to adopt a baby boy due July 8th. We were in contact almost daily, went to appointments with her, visited each other's homes and we became very close. We were with her through 5 months of her pregnancy when with 3 weeks left to the due date we were blindsided with the news that she found another couple.

For the last month we've been quietly grieving this loss for our family. We had prepared and were ready for the possibility she would choose to parent, but not that she would go find another family. We feel ready to tell people what happened but not quite ready to share all the details of those 5 months.

Thank you SO much to the few of you who knew we were chosen and helped support us through this really difficult time. All the prayers and encouragement we've received have been so appreciated, and every one of you have helped us as we try to heal and move forward. We are now waiting again to be chosen to adopt. We're hopeful that somehow we'll get to be parents again. :) Thank you for all the prayers, support and encouragement we've received over the last year that we've been trying to adopt.

-Jessica and Daniel


  1. I just stumbled on your blog (again - I'm pretty sure I've visited before) and wanted to say how sorry I am for what you have gone through. What an awful thing to have happen. I'm sending hopeful thoughts and prayers your way because even though we don't know each other, my heart goes out to you.

  2. UGH!!! We were matched with an expectant mother due July 8th as well. Heh. She backed out and decided to parent (I'm assuming... she just stopped communicating with us at the last second and told the lawyer she changed her mind). That was heartbreaking, but holy cow - to know about a baby for 5 MONTHS and it not work out, that really sucks. And then for her to choose another family is really bizarre! Seriously! What a punch to the gut. I am so, so sorry. I hope you can process it and trudge through the grieving and come out better for it on the other side. :(

  3. I am sorry for what you have gone through. As a birth mother I can understand the other side of things. I was 19 in 1976 when I discovered I was pregnant and my family did not deal with the news well. There was never any question of my keeping the baby. It was just assumed that I would give the baby up and move on with my life. I had no support system and went through the pregnancy alone and without medical care. I gave birth on March 21, 1976 to a healthy baby girl. Signing the papers in the hospital was so painful. No one understood. I had no counseling. I did what everyone else expected me to do. I still carry the pain with me to this day. If I could have kept my baby I would have. I found her this last year, and she continues to decline contact with me. Adoption both for the birth parent(s) and the adoptive couple is so emotional and life changing. I pray that everything works out for you.

  4. As we are looking at adoption agencies, I stumbled upon your blog. I can't tell you how sorry I am for the loss you have experienced. It is heartbreaking, and I'm sure you are still grieving. My prayers and heart goes out to you! I have no doubt your baby is going to be in your arms soon! We have adopted seven babies, and each one was a fight. We have battled to adopt medical needs babies internationally, experienced a failed adoption, and most recently have fought a long contested adoption by a homeless, drug addicted birthfather. Every battle has led us to our precious children, and we would do it all over again 100x. When you hit the valleys, you can sure a mountain top is ahead! Keep the faith, and believe God will fulfill the desire He has placed in your heart to be a mommy again!