31 July 2013

Alice

This post is from a series I wrote between January and July of this year. You can click HERE to start from the first post of the series.

We received our first message from Alice on a Thursday. I usually check our adoption email several times a day, but on that day I had a dentist appointment, along with the first message we received (my brain), and an in-home foster care appointment which all meant we were a bit distracted and didn’t end up seeing it until that night.

Checking the inbox, as I’ve done several times a day since last summer, I got a little excited when I saw we had a new message but quickly told myself “it’s probably junk mail”. Nope. The preview line showed it was from a real person, an expectant mother.

Hello Daniel and Jessica,
I am writing to get to know you better. I am pregnant and due in July. I found you through LDS Family services and I am emailing several families...”

“Daniel? Daniel? Daniel. Daniel. Daniel! Daniel? Daniel. DANIEL! DANIEL! DAAAAANNNNIIEEELLLL!!!!!” was all I could get out of my mouth when I saw the new message in our inbox. I couldn’t even click to open it. You might think after all the bad experiences we’ve had I would have been a LITTLE more reserved about getting a message.

“ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh…Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. Daniel!”

We read the message together and got right to work responding. Daniel and I are both a bit longwinded so we made sure to put our best effort into just answering her questions while still giving her a good idea of our personalities and not being too lengthy.

We exchanged FOUR emails in that first day. Alice and I started messaging back and forth and Daniel and I instantly LOVED her. I was so excited by the possibility of her being the woman to pick us but at the same time I had my heart guarded and didn’t want to deal with yet another scammer. I kept telling myself “just treat her like any random friendly person and assume she isn’t pregnant or isn’t interested in adoption.” That makes it SO hard though when you really want to throw yourself into developing an honest and strong relationship with someone.

I carried on doing my best to let her get to know me and to get to know her. There was one thing that was a big red flag for us though. She said her name was (NAME) but the name on her email account was Alice. The names didn’t match up. Refusing to be tricked by yet another scammer I just told her outright that we had been scammed a few times and to please just put me at ease and have her caseworker contact ours so we could know without a doubt that not only was she a real person but that she was actually looking for adoptive parents.

I knew if she was a scammer she would find an excuse to not have her caseworker contact ours or she would simply disappear. I sent the email, and then we waited…

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