03 April 2013

Why I won't be doing IAW this year

I've decided I'm not going to do a week of blog posts for Infertility Awareness Week (April 21-27) this year.

A few months ago I started brainstorming ideas in preparation for IAW. I asked myself, what would be helpful for someone just finding out they have fertility issues? What is something I wish people knew when interacting with an infertile friend or family member? What are some of the things people have been asking me about over the last year? Really, even as I was trying to make just the list of possible topics it felt a bit uncomfortable.

I feel like infertility isn't our realm anymore. Last year when I made this blog public and did posts for Infertility Awareness Week it was still a very sharp, fresh and active part of our lives. I had finally begun to come back from our first miscarriage and, unbeknownst to us, was about to have our second. It was a daily struggle, a daily heartache and something I could vividly express because I was feeling all of it crush me as I wrote. 

Now though, it feels like a bad dream or an awkward joke. Something that was a while ago, still remembered and still a smidge uncomfortable but not really on my mind. Occasionally some of the emotions surface, guilt probably being the most frequent. Probably once a month I'll feel guilty for various aspects of our infertility. I'll wonder if I did something wrong with my health growing up that made it so I have the issues I do. Even though I "know" it's not my fault, I still sometimes feel guilt about our miscarriages, like somehow I should have been able to stop them. I'll even occasionally wonder what Daniel's family would be like if he had married someone who could easily have children, a thought he quickly puts out of my mind by reminding me he wouldn't trade me or our family for anything :)

So here we are :) Our infertility, rather than being a daily struggle is more of an occasional passing thought. Adoption is a different world, one we're happy to be a part of. We're moving forward with faith in God's plan for our family :) Sure, adoption has it's difficult parts but they aren't tied at all to our infertility.

I don't feel that we could do Infertility Awareness Week justice. So if you'd still like to get your fill of insight and information about infertility, as well as some insight into our little family, here are the posts we did last year. As always, if you ever have questions about anything feel free to send me a message or post it in the comments and I'll be happy to answer.

What to Say
After writing a post about the hurtful things people say I wrote this followup for the first day of IAW. This post is full of helpful things to say or do for someone struggling with infertility. 

Ally's Story (Guest post)
My dear, sweet, fabulous friend Ally and I became roommates at BYU in 2005 and are still close friends. Ally has PCOS and this is her family's story through infertility to having their girls.

Myths about infertility and getting pregnant
Pretty self explanatory. An explanation and debunking of common myths about infertility and getting pregnant.

Whitney's Story (Guest post)
My friend Whitney shares her family's story of dealing with male factor infertility and doing IVF.

The Stresses of TTC
A list of the positives that have come from infertility, followed by the frustrating aspects.

The Male Perspective
I can't say enough good things about this post :) My super fabulous, wonderful, fantastic, loving, super-dad, hottie of a husband wrote this post about the male perspective while dealing with infertility :) He gives some helpful tips he's learned along the way :) I really like him ;)

FAQ
These are the most frequent questions we've received about infertility. There is even a bit about adoption in there :)

Thank You!
A wrap up of the week's posts, a thank you for the positive response and our guest posts, and a song :) 

Caitlin's Story
About 6 weeks after our IAW posts my friend Caitlin shared with me her experience of a missed miscarriage. Her writing is powerful and honest and I knew I HAD to include it as an IAW bonus post.


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